Looking through the window

She sat and stared out the window waiting for the headlights to come down the street. There would be a bright light shining and she would hold her breath, but no....it wasn't him. This was the first of many nights that she would wait up looking through that window. The next day he would hang his head and apologize, he went to cash his check and had a beer with the guys and then someone had more so of course he didn't want to come home drunk so he would snort a little "just to get him home". The problem was he never made it home until the paycheck was gone and so were the drugs. But the paycheck wasn't the only thing lost, so was her trust.

He would straighten up just long enough for her to believe in him again, just long enough for her to "think" she was loved and safe. But it always came back, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she knew before he did when the next binge would happen. Each time the circumstances got worse. It started with a few beers, then he added a gram or two....which led to being gone an extra day...the paycheck lost in a machine....and Each time she was always left looking through the window..........

Yeah.....looking through the window became a past time.....what the hell was she thinkin"?  Then it happened, he straightened up for long enough that on her heart she knew her fairytale was coming true! Yeah right! So she thought....so she felt.....she would go to bed at night and watch him sleep and think how blessed they were that they came through the storm to find paradise. WHAT? Yep you heard me paradise, they were so connected that  he could make her believe anything. She believed him and they began building their family and for a few years it was amazing. She was mommy helper, cooked dinner, planned all of the kids activities, loved him through it all. It wasn't long until it happened again...........here she was two kids later........looking through the window...... To be continued........