The Dog Days of Summer.......honoring the end. (Rough Draft)

August 1st....feeling so heavy in my heart yet so blessed to be able to close my eyes or look at your picture and I can feel you there. I hear your voices in my own. My face to my feet I see you, sometimes Daddy that is not a good thing! (ie: I have his feet!) He is chuckling about now, laughing at me and my Mom, sitting there in her favorite spot, with her knee drawn up to her chest laughing at him. I loved those moments I have in my zillions of memories of time spent with them, most of them as an adult however, my childhood was amazing. It wasn't without trouble that is for sure and being the oldest I was nosey and knew everything that went on, not a good thing for a child. I have memories as early as 4 or 5 years old and my mom crying after a fight with my dad and he had left. I sat with her in the kitchen where she did everything, ironing, washing you name it! I would fall asleep and listen to her talk to my dad and by this time it wasn't a fight anymore they were making up. Life would be good again and ce sera sera! I am so blessed to have had those time with them and my kids and even though he made my life a wreck I realize I couldnt have done it without him. Sad you don't gain wisdom in your younger years because this is when you need it!! But back to today....this starts every year around July 23....I know its the memory of  when my mom collapsed in my arms...this heavy, deep feeling in my chest accompanied by little happenings that trigger memories.Today I was cleaning the grout in my kitchen and I hate gloves so I have my finger rubbing the grout and of course it stings right off! I can hear my dad's voice in my head saying to my mom..."didnt you teach her to wear gloves?" and my mom would roll her eyes and laugh!.....There is happiness in between the saddness....and everyday more and more happiness except these months of the dog days of summer.